god must hate me

1/11/2010
Wonder why Gods Hates me Jesse lee Green in Jones county Texas? I was born to a red headed mother and a cowboy father. Mom thinks she is God’s gift to something the perfect lady. Will I bumped into a lady one time and wanted to date her, when she found out who my mother was she put it in high reverse till I told her there was no love lost there. She told me that my mother was known in business circles as “The Red Headed Terror” she worked with my mother in advertizing the clothing mother soled. I was raised in the Church of Christ I went to the front to be baptized once Hershel Mc Donald a elders son talked me out of it I had a Wednesday night after church private Baptism, if my son did that he would have me to speak with and it would leave him not in good shape. Wonder if that is part of God’s hatred or just another thing to touchier me. See I was born with Bi polar disorder and A.D.H.D (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder) which led to my mother’s encouraging words “Lee you barely graduated high school how in the hell do you think you are going to college” In the first grade there was a play “Billy Goat Gruff “ I think what I do know is there was a part of the troll my mother made me play this troll cause I had a loud voice(would she have made me play the part of the “homosexual” because I had lips had there been such a part in a play.!! Seems for most of my life I have been the troll recon that is why Hershel Mc Donald came to talk me out of public baptism trolls are not going to be in heaven. Well I am a senior in College still 55 in February but I did get to senior ship in college my mother never went through the door wonder if it was jealousy that made her tell me what she did. People do much harm over jealously. I was taught to have oral sex with a man and a woman while mother was in the hospital having a hysterectomy, by a lady that was kin and dad and mom brought to the house. The molestation stays with you. I live on disability because I can’t hold a job is this more of Gods (love)or Hate you know it says in the Bible Jacob I have loved and Esau I hated, so could he have created more to hate????!!! So now I live on 13,000 a year fight to do anything to make money and keep food on my table. I just want to be done with life and see what hell is like I guess since I have had 55 years here a few more melinia will not be to unbearable I hope.