Monday, March 24, 2014

A open Letter to my Mother

OK I have given up on: EVER SEEING THE CHILDREN I FATHERED AND THERE CHILDREN.
EVER HAVING ANYTHING (perhaps even getting to die homeless under a cold bridge) INSTEAD OF A WARM BED.
GIVEN UP ON EVER SEEING MY BLOOD GRAND CHILDREN.
GIVEN UP ON EVER HEARING FROM YOU A TRUE "I AM SORRY"(you may be sorry for my anger for what you have done to me. For my not crossing your door again ever) BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE " I AM SORRY FOR ____________________ FILL IN THE PARAGRAPHS. YOU ARE SO NARCISSISTIC THAT YOU ONLY THINK OF TERMS OF "JOHAN". (example I get published in Abilene reporter news and all you can say is "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS EMBARRASS ME ME ME ME (JOHAN). So you are unable to feel anything as far as I am concerned I am like your dog, horse, car a thing that is suppose to reflect YOUR goodness or greatness. THERE FORE I EMBARRASS YOU!
   Your money was always your gun like in a John Wayne movie "Well Pilgrim we will fly you back to Oregon"? DID YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND J.W. GREEN TELL ME TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS? Proves my point again you mind your business and mine with your Gun(money). Unlike John Wayne who gave the town back after taking out the bad guys YOU were the guy John Wayne would have taken out. Then he would have said you and your spouse work out your trouble
    It IS ALWAYS ALL ABOUT JOHAN GREEN THUS THE PILLOW UNDER THE BLOUSE WHEN LADELL WAS PREGNANT. The fist on the table and the those damn children did not notice me at there mother's funeral!!!! GODDAMMIT MOM IT WAS THEIR THE KEY WORD THEIR MOTHER AND CONNIE'S WIFE!!! BUT IN JOHAN GREEN'S BRAIN AND SOUL IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL ALL ALL ABOUT HER.
 Perhaps they should have had a special limo for you and you arrive first dressed in a black gown designer $1000.00 one. Then Connie comes up bows and says JOHAN MAY WE BURY LADELL?? Then every child associated with Ladle walks by and kisses your outstretched hand. Would that have been enough about YOU???
    You could have said to me when the paper published me perhaps you should pursue writing. But that would have taken from YOU and your party.
   You join these organizations not to give back BUT TO BE NOTICED. IT WAS YOU THAT COINED THE TERM ITALIAN MAFIA!! Did you ask any other woman what they might want to be called????????????????????? Did you give a poop? “MY (JOHAN GREEN) Italian mafia is always how you spoke to me about them. Do you see a pattern here besides it being a problem with (ME) as you want it to be!!!! My group (JOHAN GREEN) possession just like in the Linda Ronstadt song “Loose your love when you say the word Mine”,,, He is Mine I whoever the I is owns posses him, She is mine again  possession. Possession= control “you can't go to that roping “you cant go to that dance” people are not things to be possessed controlled, and if you do, as you have then you become responsible for what happens.
   A few degrees different rudder and 1500 souls would be alive.A giant ship and humans die because of a mistake, how much more damage is done by a bully parent in a life??????? You will not marry him or her!!! I forbid you to see them!! how many parents said such and lost the child either to a murder or they ran away with the forbidden!!! How many parents of your bullying generation are heartbroken now because a child(human being with it's own wants) was forbidden and went anyway???????
   You are 80 plus and all I ask is that you visit me at my house show that much respect. But I know the sad ending is The next time I will see your face is in a box at Jack North's. Because your heart and soul are not capable of respect for me! But you gave me training to never see your face again and to go to your funeral with no feeling at all. You sent Cindy away Let me tell you BITCH you never never never forget your children for one second! I have had 60 years combined thanks to you and your bullyness of remembering and that is all I can do. I do not blame you for Sarah. Except if I had not left when you ask I might have thrown Floy out!!!
    I think this is what death is all about when you close your eyes in it. You wake up like never before to the total and complete truth. If you are like your friend Jack you see how bad your stupid jokes and pranks hurt your business. What will I see, God I have much to be paying for much to fill me with the rage that fuels the fires of my hell. See I think hell is seeing what you did with no “I don't remember” being allowed or “I did not know” and the excuses and reasons we use here while alive.
    No I think there you are immersed in YOU what YOU did why YOU did, all glaring back at your naked soul searing it like a roast over a fire. There is a Neil Diamond song that is my favorite, It starts out with Jesus Christ, Fanny Brice and a whole list of famous names. Then it ends and each one there looked up with wounder at the same moon sweated beneath the same sun AND WEPT WHEN IT WAS ALL DONE FOR BEING DONE TOO SOON. So I end with one request again respect enough to come sit in my living room and talk.

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